Sweaty Yoga: Part II
by xLadyxLibertyx
Summary: Sephiroth goes to Sweaty Yoga with Zack, Reno, and Rude. Author is Bjanik. Follow-on to Bjanik's "Sweaty Yoga." Thanks, Bjanik!


Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII. I depend on my daughter, xXxValentinexXx, and on Bjanik for all my information on the subject.**

**A/N—I am proud to announce that Bjanik wrote this piece. After reading "A Trip to the Doctor," she asked me if I were going to write Sephiroth's visit to sweaty yoga. Having never been to sweaty yoga, I knew I certainly wasn't qualified to write any such thing. Thank you for this, Bjanik! I LOVE IT!**

"OK, I'll see you guys back out here in a few minutes?"

Zack agreed, and Sephiroth found himself nodding as well as he watched his wife disappear behind the door marked "women." The locker room arrangement had finally struck home the strangeness of the situation for him. He had never done any type of training or workout in mixed company before, something that necessitated a special changing room for "women." With Yoga mat and beach towel rolled under one arm he followed Zack into the men's locker room, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

"I got ya covered, Seph." Zack, now an old hand at Yoga, was pulling stuff out of his gym bag. "Water bottle, you'll need all of that." He handed Sephiroth a large water bottle, carefully stored in the freezer just long enough to leave it half frozen. "And the outfit."

Sephiroth accepted with the pinch of two fingers a small scrap of fabric.

"What is this?" He asked.

"Shorts. For the hot room."

The general commander of the ShinRa army held in the air a small piece of black spandex. It had what looked like silver lighting bolts down both sides.

"Surely you jest."

"Naw, everybody wears that stuff," Zack said, waving his hand at the other locker room occupants. "See?"

Sephiroth looked around at several ShinRa execs who were, in fact, donning small, stretchy shorts. He shrugged and undressed, folding his leathers into a neat, dense black pile on the bench. Then taking a moment to puzzle through front from back of the strange shorts he stepped into them and pulled them up over his hips, sticking his hands down the front several times in an attempt to adjust his goods under the revealing fabric so as to look less conspicuous, then gave up the effort. He might as well be naked.

"Smashing," Zack said, turning his head quickly to rummage more in his bag.

Sephiroth cut his eyes at his friend. Something was up with Zack. The young Soldier kept his back turned as he pulled a pair of baggy shorts out of his bag, the type he wore to the gym for weightlifting, and slipped them on. Sephiroth stared at him open mouthed.

"How is it you're wearing _those_ and I am stuck in _these_?" he demanded.

"Why, Seph," Zack said, eyes round, "I just thought you'd like to... be hee heeheee," Zack, unable to contain himself a moment longer, slipped and fell onto the bench in a fit of hysterics.

"I thought you'd like to be fashionable!" he managed to finally spit out, howling and holding his gut. Sephiroth growled and grabbed a handful of Zack's thick black hair and pulled him up to where he could get at him. Zack grabbed onto Sephiroth's arm for support, but couldn't stop his own laughter. Sephiroth growled again, desperately wanting to hit Zack, but Zack was helpless when he was laughing like this and he just couldn't bring himself to hit a helpless man. He gave him a little shake in hopes of improving his condition but it did no good.

"General, please no bloodshed in the yoga locker room." Rufus ShinRa said as he walked calmly by on his way out, wearing a pair of tiny shorts. Sephiroth released Zack and glowered at him. He thought to make Zack switch with him, but since they both had already put said shorts on, sans undergarments, that just seemed wrong.

"I'll get you for this, Zack!" he hissed, thinking of three or four particularly unpleasant duties to which Zack was about to be assigned.

"I know," Zack choked out, "but it's worth it!"

"Whoa, looking good, General!"

Sephiroth in his mind added three or four more rotten jobs to Zack's list as Reno sauntered in and gave him an approving glance. Zack lost his knees again and had to sit as another round of hysterical laughter took him. Sephiroth put his forehead in his hand and squeezed. Tessa was probably already dressed and outside; he should probably just go out and get it over with. Then he noticed Reno pulling a pair of shorts out of his bag, smaller even than his own. And bright red. He snatched the shorts from Reno.

"You," he held the shorts out to Zack, "Are wearing these."

"Oh-." The laughter abruptly stopped as Zack's eyes fixed on the tiny things. "I don't think they're my size."

"No worries, bro," Reno said. "They stretch. And I have a spare." He pulled out an identical pair from his bag and waved them in the air.

Zack swallowed and looked from the shorts to his commander.

"It's this or you're scrubbing the training hall floor. By hand."

"Aw, Seph, that's cadet work!"

"Mmm hmmm."

"All right." Zack grabbed the shorts and made a quick change. He glanced at himself in the mirror. He felt ridiculous, but he had to admit he looked pretty good. And the fabric was stretchy as could be, it was like wearing nothing at all. He wiggled his hips at his own reflection then grinned at Sephiroth, who shut his eyes and shook his head slowly, thinking there was no dignity left in the world.

They grabbed mats, towels, and water bottles and bravely left the safety of the locker room. As usual the hallway was full of far more women than men, including Tessa, who was against one wall, her large towel clutched in front of her.

"Oh oh, what's wrong," Zack asked, always quicker with asking that sort of thing that Sephiroth ever would be.

"It's my outfit," she said mournfully.

"I'm sure you look fine, my dear," Sephiroth said. "You don't need to worry about your belly showing."

"Yeah, Tess, the whole company knows you're pregnant," Zack said.

"It's not my belly." Tessa lowered her towel to reveal the problem. Sephiroth's eyebrows shot up in alarm, and Zack uttered a small 'whoa!' before he could stop himself.

"Hey doll, you are going to fall out of that thing." Reno, ever helpful, had come up behind Sephiroth. He promptly took an elbow to the chest, and wheezing a little he announced he would be going into the practice room now. Tessa's top covered the outsides of her breasts and the nipples, but only just. The entire middle section was bare, pushed together in mounded cleavage. If she leaned over she would do just as Reno said, fall out of it.

"I ordered my size, 34B," Tessa protested.

A busty blonde who had come out of the locker room to stand seductively close to Zack motioned towards Tessa's breasts with her water bottle. "You aren't a 34B any more, hon."

Tessa frowned at her breasts. It was true; in the last few months her perky little boobs had swollen to what seemed to her an enormous size. Sephiroth wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed the top of her head. He had been enjoying these particular new curves, but he didn't want to share them with everyone during Yoga class. Certainly not the likes of Reno.

"You know what, I think I have a spare top," the blonde said. "Would you like to borrow it?"

"Please," Tessa replied, taking a gander at the blonde's ample bustline and figuring whatever she had would work.

"We'll get you a spot on the floor," Zack said, taking her mat and towel and pulling Sephiroth towards the practice room. The heat was pleasantly reduced, Tessa having bargained with the instructor on a compromise temperature of somewhere in the mid nineties. It was still plenty hot, but Zack was thinking he might not need all three of his water bottles this time. As far as he knew he was the only person who ever needed three bottles, he seemed to have some supernatural sweating ability.

"Well it is hot in here, isn't it?" Tessa had come in, wearing a much more concealing top that didn't match her shorts.

"This is nothing," Zack boasted, and she smiled at him. She had every intention of following Zack's repeated advice and taking it easy. If she got too hot, she would just hang out and people watch. She looked around and spotted Rude, and stepped forward to ask some questions about how his prosthetic handled the humidity.

Sephiroth watched her from behind, all of her shapely legs revealed under her very short shorts, her thick red hair bound in a high ponytail, the muscles down her bared back visible under skin already glowing with a thin sheen of moisture. The room was full of barely clad women but only one he felt propriety over. And there were a few men, including Reno, whose mat was too close to Tessa's for his liking.

"Zack, move over here please," Sephiroth motioned to the spot between Tessa's mat and Reno's.

"That spot's not as good," Zack protested, but at a stern look from his commander he picked up and moved. That left Zack next to Reno, and Sephiroth never liked the two of them together.

"Switch with me," he ordered. Zack sighed his annoyance but complied. This left Sephiroth next to Reno and his ever roving lecherous eye, but he decided it would have to do. But there was no way he could shield Tessa completely no matter how well he placed himself and Zack since the walls were covered in mirrors. He watched, annoyed, as she laughed at something Rude said, and then he smiled as she turned to the side. That definitely was not the figure of an available female. The 'baby bump' was plainly visible above her little shorts, a swollen area in her softening midsection. She smiled at him and he relaxed, taking the liberty of rubbing her swollen belly when she came back over to him. He wasn't prone to public petting, but somehow the baby bump was excluded from that and he had taken to touching that area at every opportunity. Tessa reminded herself that somewhere in month eight that part of her body would suddenly become public property as coworkers, even strangers, would feel somehow it was acceptable to touch the beachball like protrusion.

"All right, everybody, center of your mats and towels..."

The instructor came in, a woman Tessa found alarmingly thin. She wondered about the woman's eating habits as she followed the instructions for the breathing exercise. She was supposed to be concentrating on her breathing alone, holding her mind in a meditative state, but she couldn't help looking around the room with her eyes, watching the other participants, wondering how Zack had gotten her husband into those shorts, wondering why Zack, Reno, and Rude all had matching shorts... actually she was finding herself quite distracted by the idea of small, stretchy men's shorts. She noticed Zack was keeping an eye on her, having resurrected his role of coach. He was also looking past her, maybe at Sephiroth. He was no doubt curious how the General would do in this class; she was curious herself. Sephiroth claimed to have sweat glands although she had seen no evidence of such. Tessa had so far resisted the urge to ask to dissect a chunk of his skin, that would just be too... Hojo-like.

Next they put their hands up over their heads and stretched upward. Tessa noticed her reflection became visibly taller, and she made a mental note to stop slouching during work. The getting the arms up straight with biceps touching the ears was a little tricky. She saw Zack was doing a fair job, and looking mighty proud of himself for it. She moved her shoulders around, lifting, lowering, and finally finding that they needed to be rotated inward a bit while relaxing to do the trick. Flexibility was involved, but it was also a matter of finesse. If she tried to muscle her arms into place, it was actually counterproductive. Men tended to muscle their way around first and attempt finesse second, and this had probably been part of Zack's problem his first day, that day he had passed out. Sephiroth was an exception to the male rule; physical finesse was one of his strong suits. She watched him in the mirror moving his shoulders around as she had done, hoped he wouldn't accidentally deploy that wing, until finally he reached an acceptable result.

Next they bent over to the side. This required finesse as well but this time there was no getting around strongly using the core muscles. Tessa, wanting to be sure she took it easy and definitely not wanting to go into a mako burn since she didn't have any to spare, satisfied herself with a mild, stretching arc sideways. A woman in front of her with the same ultra thin build as the instructor slowly bent and bent until her torso was parallel to the floor. Tessa stared at her, amazed, then noticed Sephiroth also watching the woman in the mirror. Then he cocked his head slightly, and bent his own torso down to match her angle, hair cascading all the way to the floor.

"Eww," she said before she could stop herself, and she wasn't the only one who made a sound. Seeing a skinny woman bend like that was amazing, seeing a man do it was somehow disturbing. Especially since he hadn't been practicing this activity for months, or even years, as she was sure the woman had. She wondered about the nature of Sephiroth's vertebrae. Maybe they were more rounded or something; when she got a chance she would scrutinize one of his x-rays more carefully.

There were some leg muscle oriented poses, where they had to sit into chairs which weren't there. The men all shone in those postures while Tessa took it decidedly easy, then came the one where they had to wrap their arms in a pretzel shape. Zack helped Tessa with the whole wrapping direction, then wrapped up his own arms, looking rather smug. Sephiroth was frowning, wrapping and re-wrapping his arms without getting it right. The instructor came down from her podium and smiling a little said how she always had to help beginners with this one. She guided Sephiroth's arms so they crossed once, then twice, and when his hands didn't hit the target one palm and forearm rotated entirely around until it was impossibly facing the same direction again.

"Argh!" The young instructor leapt backward as if she suddenly realized she had hold of a snake that might bite her.

Zack came out of his posture, reached around Tessa and smacked Sephiroth on the back of the head. "Put your arms back in their sockets," he demanded, "you're scaring people!"

Zack shook his head; he had forgotten Sephiroth could do that. He was a little disappointed because so far his plan to see some yoga humbling put to the big general hadn't panned out. But then he remembered it wasn't upper body he had been thinking about.

It wasn't long before they got to leg stretching. Zack forewent some of his own effort so he could watch. Tessa could easily put her forehead on the knee of the outstretched leg, which didn't surprise him; girls were often good at that one. But Sephiroth got about half way down and there he stuck. He frowned, looked confused, pushed and only made another half inch.

"Don't push it too hard," Zack warned, "you'll pull something."

The entire leg stretching sequence went that way, Tessa easily bending all the way over and repressing small giggles, Zack no where near being able to smoke with his toes as Reno could but much farther than when he first started yoga, and Sephiroth stuck at what he clearly thought was an unacceptable level.

They finished with dead body pose, Zack lying in a pool of his own sweat even though he had needed only two of his bottles, Tessa smiling slightly, tired but satisfied, and Sephiroth scowling, still thinking about his inability to grab his feet when his legs were straight.

"Relax your toes, relax your feet, relax your legs..." The instructor intoned, "Relax your body and shoulders, General Sephiroth, please relax your face, there's no frowning in yoga..."

Reno and Zack both snorted in stereo from both sides of him, causing Sephiroth to frown more.

"C'mon, General, you can do it, everybody relax, relax..."

When enough relaxing had been done, the class finally escaped to the cool hallway.

"So what'd you guys think?" Zack asked.

"I _loved_ it!" Tessa exclaimed.

"Hmph. It seems I need some work on leg flexibility," Sephiroth said.

"I knew you were tight in the hamstrings!" Zack said, triumphant at last.

"It's from those tight leather pants you wear all the time, yo." Reno had joined their group, this time out of reach of Sephiroth's elbows.

"Nobody asked you, Reno," Sephiroth snarled.

Reno took a step closer to Rude and affected a mock sniffle. "Sephy loves me," he said in a pathetic voice that attracted looks from several of the women passing by.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes in exasperation. Reno had persisted in that comment ever since Sephiroth had caught him and carried him out of the abyss in the reactor. He had hoped the man would have tired of it by now.

"Well," Zack said, putting a hand to Sephiroth's shoulder "You keep coming to yoga, it'll fix you right up." He pulled his hand away, noticing it was damp. "Hey, you're sweating!"

"I told you I sweat."

"Wait, you're sweating? Can I take your temperature?" Tessa asked, "I have a thermometer in my bag."

"Enough!" Sephiroth shook off the curious touches, which now seemed to include more than just his wife and Zack. "I'm showering." He stomped off, leaving Zack and Tessa to shrug at his attitude.

"Excuse me," Reno said, and darted into the locker room himself.


End file.
